Skip to main content

we have flowers II

The 355th mass shooting in the 336 days took place a few days ago in San Bernardino, California. Some days there have been four shootings in one day. A company has now come out with bulletproof blankets for kids in case a shooting breaks out at school, at the doctor’s office, at the park, at the mall – wherever you might be with your child where they are now at actual risk of being shot at and killed. The day after the San Bernadino shooting the US Senate ruled against increased gun control laws like denying people on the federal terrorism watch list the ability to purchase guns, or expanding background checks for people purchasing guns online or at gun shows. A friend’s Facebook status this morning summed it up pretty well

Our lives matter less than our guns.
-The United States.

How can that be true? How can we live in a society that is so plagued by rage that the only way out is to take each other down? And how can we be so desensitized to it, so greedy, that we defend the laws that allow it to continue? How can we bastardize terms like freedom and liberty in the name of something so callous and despicable as the ability to continue to kill each other? And how can we build up huge arsenals of weaponry against “terrorists” – resting our minds on images of bearded Arab men as the violent fanatics we should be scared of – when evidence shows that it is our very own American middle class white men that we should most fear? How can we defend the continued murder of black men by law enforcement officials and ‘concerned citizens’ and the upholding of the racist beliefs that these men are the most violent in America, when again evidence proves otherwise? How can our leaders be so manipulative, so greedy, so racist and ethnocentric, and how can we the people be so easily manipulated – so easily brainwashed into caring little enough about each other that we are willing to stand by and watch our brothers and sisters fall victim to violent, untimely, senseless death?

Now, being a mother, it’s like I feel these things even more deeply. The thought of my toddler daughter growing up to be a part of a world marked by fear and anxiety. Fear of shots ringing out in broad daylight. The anxiety of being a girl in this world, this world of social pressures and nothing is good enough mentality. It is hard enough out there without guns, social media, comparison, and shame. Who needs it – hate, fear, shame, and all the rest? Why do we perpetuate these things so unconsciously when there is so much beauty available – so much love and light that we could turn towards – in each other, in this world? Why do we choose to see the dark when the light is available to us, at our fingertips?

"...God, too,
flows inside our veins.
We are the wounders of each other,
We are the wounded.

We ourselves
are also the healing,
We ourselves
are the shelter...."

(Omid Safi from

It is interactions like this one (see video in previous post) that inspire in me the ability to parent, to exist in this world, with love and faith, rather than fear. I want to send out prayers to this sick world of ours that we can learn to heal through loving each other boundlessly and without fear. That our differences can somehow bring us together instead of inspiring us to build walls between each other or tear each other down. I want my daughter to grow up with that in her heart. With courage and love and a deep passion for this beautiful world of ours, for the people God created. I want her to grow up to feel that this world is where she belongs, and not a place to fear – to embrace it, rather than to run and hide.


Popular posts from this blog

Coming Home.

Two years ago I got divorced. I did it with my head held high. After starting my marriage off with an affair I decided to change my life. I entered recovery and lived out the next 6 years sober & faithful, the best wife I could be. But we grew apart, and less than a year after our daughter was born, we split up. Then I fell in love again. I forgot what it felt like to be head over heels in love with someone, and quite honestly it knocked me off my feet. I really thought that God had finally answered all my prayers - I thought I had finally gotten what I wanted - the dream come true. 
Just about eight months ago, my boyfriend came clean after months of relapsing that I did not know about. I felt broken like I really don’t think I have ever felt before, and the healing has been slow and painful. There is no doubt that we are both doing the work, but it is hard. 
It occurred to me recently that much of the pain his relapse has brought up for me is old pain. It shouldn’t be a surprise,…

to struggle gives strength.

"We must recognise that under duress great things are born. Diamonds form in molten stone. The sweetest flowers of man's spirit have most often been watered by tears. To struggle gives strength, to endure breeds a greater capacity for endurance. We must not run away from our heartbreaks in life; we must go through them, however fiery they may be, and bring with us out of the fire a stronger character, a deeper reliance on ourselves and on the Creator Who, like a good Parent, chastizes us because He loves us and because He knows what can be made out of us and that the pain is worth the prize that can be won. Love, hate, passion, fear, sorrow, pain -they act on us and spur us on, they develop our qualities and give us colour and individuality. Why should we want to shun and abolish some of the factors that bring out the best in us, that temper our steel, that teach us to value happiness at its true worth? Can a man who has never been hungry in all his life know what a piece of …

A message from Clarissa Pinkola Estes

My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people.

You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement.

I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakene…