People think of us addicts as insensitive liars, but we don't start out that way. We start out as extremely sensitive truth tellers. We look at everyone around us smiling and repeating “I’m fine! I’m fine! I’m fine!” and we find ourselves unable to join them in all the pretending. We must tell the truth, which is: “Actually, quite often I’m NOT fine.” In our culture it’s not yet safe to tell that truth with words so we use whatever else we can find- drugs, booze, food, money, other bodies. We act out our truth instead of speaking it. And everything becomes a godforsaken mess. But we were just trying to be honest.
This is why it is so important for people in recovery (that’s all of us) to practice truth telling. Because if we speak out our truth we don’t have to act out our truth. The more we use our words, the less we find ourselves needing to use substances and other people.
Practice truth telling today. Even if it's just all alone in your room, say out loud: “Actually, I’m not fine right now.” And wait and watch the world not fall apart. Telling yourself the truth is the beginning of the revolution.