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letters to our little one. part iii.

12 weeks, 3 days. 

Dearest One,

I apologise for my long absence in letter writing. I suppose life has just been passing us by! It has been nearly five weeks since my last letter, and we are going to find out tomorrow if you are a boy or a girl! So unreal to think of that. I am so excited to know more about you that I can hardly figure out what to with myself in the remaining hours till our scan.

About two weeks ago we had our last scan, at just about 10 weeks. We could see your little hands and feet moving around, kicking and squirming, and hear your heart beat again. Amazing. So magical to see you moving around like that. It's still so surreal, so unbelievable to imagine you growing inside me, your little body and soul, me its custodian.

Now that we are at the 12 week mark I am beginning to feel much a bit more energetic, not like I have been given sleeping pills throughout the day! My appetite is not so all over the place, and it seems like my cravings are a bit more tempered. My tummy is beginning to swell a little bit, and almost all my friends and family here (most of whom know about you at this point) say that they can see signs of you already. Well, I can tell you that my jeans no longer fit, and even bottoms that were a bit big before are starting to feel snug. So, there are signs of you all over, Little One!

It's summer time in Cape Town now. The days are growing longer and I am off work for three weeks. Hallelujah! It has been hard to concentrate at the office with my mind constantly coming back to little you. Nice to have some down time to be a bit quiet and relaxed. All of your family back in America knows about you now, and they are so excited about you! Mommy Iris cannot hold back her excitement at the prospect of being a great grandmother. It is very sweet to see. She has already offered to buy you your first pram and car seat, so you better say thank you when the time comes!

It's amazing all the things you start to think about when faced with the prospect of being a mom. When to take maternity leave. What diapers to buy. Which bottles will least dissuade you from breastfeeding. When to go home to America to see the family. How to divide holidays between continents. Which foods to eat to best nurture your little body and brain. So much to consider, and honestly, I have to say that one of the most amazing things is just how natural it all feels. Like I have been expecting you - like my body and mind have been waiting for you, preparing themselves without me knowing it, for you to come. It's magical really.

So, tomorrow we will find out a little bit more about you. I have heard that they show us your pictures on huge screens, and that the normal scans will never satisfy us again after this. I will report back after the scan and let you know! After that we will only see you again at 20 weeks. Will have to fill those 8 weeks with lots of activities lest they creep by waiting for you.

Ok, Mama is off now. Here is a photo from our last scan (at about 10 weeks) - cute little you!



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